Dealing with loss - Tejinderpal Singh 'Dhulla'

(Image from: Kaurflicks Flickr)

Re: Dulla Ji's wife passed away recently in a motor vehicle accident.....this is how her family is dealing with their loss......... it is WORTH reading...please make sure you read it!

This is very inspiring....it is how we should ALL accept our Guru's will.

Vaheguru Vaheguru Vaheguru Vaheguru Vaheguru!!!

Gurmukh Pyaare jio,

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa|| Vaheguru ji ki Fateh||

I visited Guru pyaare Tejinderpal Singh ji, Dulla ji on Sunday. Singh’s had told me that Veerji is in Chardhi Kala and I wanted to see first hand how Gurmukh pyare Gursikhs not only accept Guru ji’s Will but accept it as sweet.

Here is the scene at Dulla ji’s home when I arrived. Read on and be inspired!

The house is full of Sangat. Local Toronto gursikhs and gursikhs from all over Canada, USA and India are here. Gursikh Singhs and bibian are doing seva and helping out in various ways. Singhs are setting sheets in the room for the evening keertan. There is no crying or sorrow, but rather a sense of peace and calm on everyone’s face showing the acceptance of guru jis bhaanaa. Bhai Amarjit Singh Rekhi from NJ meets me with a loving embrace and show me the way to the room Dulla ji resting in.

I see Dulla ji with other gursikhs. He is smiling and talking to the gursikhs. There is a wheel chair beside his bed. He sees me and with a radiating smile says fateh. Placing the flowers I had brought in the room I approach him and he hugs and kisses me and in a chardhi kala voice says, “Kee haal hai?” (How're you?) I tell him I am now in full chardhi kala seeing his high spirits. I ask how he is doing and he says with a radiating smile, “Bahut bakhsish hai!”(Lots of blessings) He is being his good old self and is smiling and laughing as he quotes Gurbani. My first expression within my heart was Wow! Vaah! This Gusikh is living Guru ji’s message in reality!

Jo nar dukh mai dukh nahi maanai||
Sukh saneh ar bhai nahi ja kai kanchan maatee maanai||

Sukh dukh dono sam kar janai…

I hold his hands as I say: “Veerjio, I had heard that spiritually you are in chardhi kala, so I wanted to see first hand how my Gurmukh Pyaare Veerji is doing and what a living example of gusikhs accepting Guru ji’s Will looks like. I can’t explain the joy of seeing you in such chardhi kala. Guru ji’s words

‘Jo nar dukh mai dukh nahi maanai’
That man, who in the midst of pain, does not feel pain,

are being lived in reality! Vaah! Vaah!

Kehbe ko soobhaa nahi dekhaa hee parvaan!”
I cannot describe its sublime glory; it has to be seen to be appreciated. ||121||

Truly my words cannot describe what I saw. The chardhi kala Veerji radiates has to be experienced in person. I told veerji that I had not come to give anything but to get something from him. And seeing him in this great avasthaa had given me what I was looking for. I felt like he was given me the support at this tough time through is radiance and chardhi kala!

Dulla ji and I spoke for a few minutes and then he said to a sevadar Singh “Ehna noo jal paani chakkaao.” (Give some refres

I come out of the room and meet Guru pyaare Bhain ji Jasbir Kaur ji’s brothers Jagmohan Singh Veerji and Upkar Singh Veerji, and they are in chardhi Kala also. I meet Jasbir Bhainji’s mother in the kitchen and see is in chardhi Kala too. I asked where Uncle ji is (Jabir Bhainji’s father, Sardar Satnam Singh ji). I am led to the master bedroom. Guru Pyaare Satnam Singh ji is sitting on the bed speaking with Gursikhs. I approach him and he lovingly embraces me and says fateh. He has no sorrow on his face either. Just a smile as he speaks. I tell him how pleased I am to see everyone in the family in Chardhi Kala accepting Guru ji’s will. He say’s it is the blessings of the Guru and the sangat of all gursikhs that is supporting them in this time. I tell him what another gursikh had told me the other day that Guru ji calls the ones that are beloved to him earlier than expected. Guru Pyaare Satnam Singh ji smiled. He say’s the time had come and so Guru ji called Jasbir Kaur ji back.

The evening keertan had started. I bow before Satguru ji and thank Him for a glimpse of gursikhs living His message. It was really awe-inspiring to see all these gursikhs seeing the will of God as sweet. This was such a contrast to other homes I have been at to give condolences after someone’s death where people are crying and the process of grieving seems so dry. At Dulla Veerji’s home the sangat was very positive and the aura of chardhi kala and sehaj prevailed. Even Jasbir Kaur Bhainji’s children are in high spirits. This is the greatness of Satguru ji’s message that has touched these hearts.

My visit to Dulla Veerji’s home has given me the feeling of Chardhi kala. The other gursikhs I have heard being in such chardhi kala during death is Bhai Sahib Pritam Singh Chani ji. Chani ji had told me that when his mother was on her death bed at the hospital he stayed immersed in Gurbani all that time. He was sitting in keertan in the morning when a Singh came running and told him that his mother had passed away. He was asked to come right away. Chani ji told the Singh that now that his mother had passed away why leave Guru ji’s sangat. He told the Singh to wait as well and that they would leave after the samapti and Langar. We all know Chani ji is a great gursikh who lives in the anand of gurbani. The same seems so true of Dulla ji and his family.

I felt like I had seen another episode of Bhai Bekhaari ji story from guru ji’s period. Vaah! Dhan Guru, Dhan Guru ke Sikh Pyaare!

I mentioned my experience at Dulla Veerji’s home to colleagues at work and they all got it. Most of my colleagues are practicing Catholics and they said that they too have the same message to accept the Will of the Lord as sweet at such times, but it is very rare to see someone stay in such high spirits at such a time. They were inspired and have reflected that it takes a lot of Faith to live in such Light and high spirits.

I urge those of you who can make it out this weekend for the funeral and Keertan to please come. As much as you would like to see Dulla ji, his family, and all gursikhs I must say that Dulla ji and his family will love seeing you there as well!


Daas,
Gursev Singh

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