This is an extract from Sukhmani Kaur's blog, focusing on how Guru Ji changed her life....
Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo
It's a story of Love, of His Love, which He's showing to all of us - to all Singhs and Singhnees, to all His children and even to those who never in their life even heard such word as 'S-I-K-H-I'. And I will tell you this story, because it's my story as well. I was born in Moscow in quite normal Russian family, with Mother and Father and few relatives. The whole thing started for me at the autumn of 1996, I was 16 at that time and just started my Uni. One day I was in the bus on my way to university and I saw someone in the window. That was a tall guy, bearded and TURBANED! And that was first time in my life as I ever even saw a Singh. And I just started to think that it would be fun to talk to that guy and ask him stuff of his Turban etc etc. At the meantime bus moved and Singh passed out of my sight.
Few weeks passed, and it was the time when I was searching for anything what could bring me some calmness and happiness, because all the escapes which young people using normally are so destructive, and there's no way to life with that. And by advice of my friends I went to one group where they were practicing some kind of shamanic path. And will you believe what happened there? This Singh whom I saw at the street few weeks ago - he was there! He just walked in and I recognized him - and that was the very beginning.
Usually most westerner Sikhs coming into Sikhi through teachings of Harbajan Singh Yogi AKA Yogi Bhajan. In Moscow since 1990 there were people practicing Kundalini Yoga and following teachings of Yogi Ji. And some of those Yoga students becoming Singhs, and that's just real Grace of Guru Ji. So in Moscow in 1996 there were 2 Russian guys who were Singhs: Manjit Singh & Guru Das Singh. And what should be my luck and good fortune if in 14-million Moscow I met one of them - Manjit Singh.
I started to practice Kundalini Yoga as it taught by Yogi Bhajan. Few hours daily and also attending public classes. And do you know how it works? None is saying much about Sikhi there, but the whole philosophic system which this knowledge based on penetrated by Sikhi. And behind each and any meditation stands the very essence - Naam which awakening ones devotion and Love. So if you are in the aware process of spiritual search those techniques will bring you to Guru Ji for sure. At Moscow KY classes there were from 70 to 100 people each week. And this is incredible feeling when all those people starting to chant: "Vaheguroo, Vaheguroo, Vaheguroo, Vaheguroo…" - there's no way for your mind and ego to reject this overflowing stream. Your heart and soul all vibrating from this feeling of unity of the whole creation. And that's the idea of how it all works. And I was so excited by that experience, so I just dived headlong into it.
After some time I came to know more about Singhs and Sikhi itself, and one day I heard about Gurdwara. So somehow I decided to go and see what's going on in there. Till nowadays there's no permanent Gurdwara in Moscow, like proper Darbar or Mandir. And Gurdwara committee just renting some big public hall somewhere and they are installing Gurdwara over there for Sundays. But all that I found out much later, because that very first time as I went to attend Gurdwara program I was so scared of look of Singhs whom I met on my way there, so I found no guts to enter Divan and just run away abashed. It's really funny when I'm thinking of that day now, but still…
Later on in august 1998 I went with group of Moscow Yoga students at European Yoga festival in France, Loches. At this festival there are about 8-8,5 hundred people all over Europe and world. There are loads of positive and negative sides of such kind of gatherings, but one thing is incontestable - it's Sangat! GURSANGAT!!! Maybe there are just 10% of Sikhs at that camp, but the very look of those Singhs and Singhnees is just so much inspiring! Maybe they are not too much precise in rituals or sometimes they read in English instead of Gurmukhi, still all the external things do not mean so much if Love and Devotion are there.
At Yoga Festival I heard Jap Ji Sahib for the first time. Early morning hours at 3.30 - 4.00 am the whole Sangat is gathering at the big field for Sadhana. And it's such an experience when you are sitting surrounded by high trees and stars are shining in the dark skies. And beautiful voices reciting hymns of Guru Ji sweet-sounding. That was unforgettable and even if I didn't know anything bout Jap Ji Sahib I just couldn't miss it, was waking every morning at amritvela to hear it. After Jap Ji Sahib there are Yoga exercises taking place and after it - chanting. Chanting lasts for more then one hour, including Mul Mantr for 7 minutes, last verse from Reharas Sahib 'Rakhe Rakhanhar' for 7 minutes as well, Guru Ram Das chant & the most maaad part is 21 minute of 'Vaheguroo, Vaheguroo, Vaheguroo, Vahe Jio…' you should sit in birasan. And while everyone is chanting this day is dawning. And the whole entire being of yours recognizing the Power of the Naam - it brings light in the world, guiding ones soul from Darkness of the Night to the Light of the Day. And as the first rays of sunlight touching your face the whole being of yours just exulting, overfilling with joy and delight. After such an experience one just couldn't stay the same, the whole life of mine get turned towards Sikhi.
In September 1999 I got really blessed by close acquaintance with real very Chardi Kala Gursikh, to be precise GurSinghnee. Her name is Hari Kaur Khalsa and she's from US basically and she's following Sikhi since more then 30 years already, and she has so much Love for Guru Ji, that just every single person in her presence feels blessed and loved as a dear child. She tied Dastaar to me for the first time. And even my parents who are far from understanding Sikhi appreciated my turban. In Moscow none ever saw a Singhnee, and people were just so amazed by my look, I heard them speaking: 'Look, like a princess going there'. And I feel Dastaar being really a crown, crown of dignity and honor.
In a year I had a chance to read during Akhand Paath at Gurdwara in Loches - European Yoga festival 2000. It was such an amazing night - the whole Sangat was doing all-night Kirtan program and the energy was so high that none could leave, everyone were sitting and chanting for the whole night. I was reading at amritvela. I remember how I seat near Baba Ji and felt like I'm diving, diving in the whole stream where's no time, no space, no thoughts, - only One, only His Love and it takes all your being, all levels of your consciousness getting penetrated with that vibration. After that hour I couldn't move, was just sitting right by the side and just crying. And from that moment I recognized the only true asylum of mine - Him.
Among followers of teachings of Yogi Bhajan there are so many different kinds of people. Some are just doing Yoga, some people just hanging around 'esoteric' stuff, many kinds of. But some people they are most real Gursikhs, and I believe, that it was the main idea of coming of Yogi Ji in the end of 60-s to the West, - to search for those whose souls are true devoted. And this Singhs & Singhnees they are just so amazing, they have so much Piaar, they are so close to Guru Ji. We've done some meditations and payers with the team of teachers who came from Europe to teach at Moscow Yoga festival in September 2000. We were chanting to Guru Ram Das Ji, and I just felt and saw loving palms of Guru Ji covering everyone forehead and blessing each of us. There could be no doubts, this Love is surrounding like a sphere all the Chardi Kala Singhs. And it doesn't matter whether they are Indians or Westerners, Africans or Japanese - we all are beloved, and none is better or more deserving, there's no limits, no boundaries to His Love, so there's nothing to divide.
Since I met Sikhi I was dreaming to go to India and get Darshan of all the Gurdwaras and Guru's land - Punjab. It happened this way that in few weeks everything came in one and I was able to go. I was so spaced out of all that came to back to myself only when my forehead touched cold marbles of Prakarma of Darbar Sahib. I was crying - couldn't stand it's heavenly beauty and glorious space, presence of Guru Ji and saturation with such a vibration that your heart forever recognizing them as most precious on that Earth. I was staying at Darbar Sahib over all day and sleeping right there at the Prakarma right by holy waters of Amrit Sarovar. This celestial golden shining forever stays at your heart. It's like your eyes just like bowls getting filled with that glowing and whatever you glance at you see it's glimmering.
I was just bursting from elation - all the bearded and turbaned Singhs all over around. From that moment I definitely knew how does heaven looks like: ocean of Dastaars and beards and sounds of Gurbani, and nothing else. Ah! No, forgot one thing - and loads of Prashad! What else one needs? :)
Never felt I anything similar to what I've experienced watching Anandpur Sahib from the hill as I got there for the first time. Blend of pain, yearning and sweetness which belongs only to dear home of yours. In Keshghar Sahib I've done Ardas to Guru Ji to get His Darshan. And sitting by the side of Sachkhand place and Guru Ji's Shastr I felt this astonishing courage, fortitude, strength, braveness - spirit of the perfect Warrior - no hate or anger, only love, care and protection. He just took my soul, was holding me in just one hand, all of me in a fist. He just took and never left.
Anandpur Sahib made an impression on me of abandoned town, but later on I found out where everyone are. As I was sitting and meditating in the Fort of Guru Ji I saw with closed eyes His Singhs passing all over around, heard them talking and heard tinkling of their swords. They all are there, prepared for Guru Ji to call them.
What could I do now? After all what happened to me, did I have any choice? Could I reject Guru Ji asking for a head? After all Love and Blessings countless number of which I got in my life. What would be my Love if I can't do this. I was thinking for months of taking Amrit, but you know, always doubts if you worth, etc etc. But in fact you are not deciding anything, it's just happening with you. There were only few days left from my almost 5 months trip in India. And it happened to me - I should just be straight with my own self and solid in my determination, and that's all. Bol: 'Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh!', 'Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh!', Bol: 'Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh!'… Man! After I bowed to Guru Granth Sahib I burst out into such a mighty Fateh, just in Mega Maha FATEH!!! Yes!!! I was Khalsa from now on!! Khalsa RULES!!!
How everything is changing! You feel totally different. It's like inside yourself there's the same substance which presents in all the Gurdwaras, Sachkhand places, the same thing got developed in you. You are Khalsa - you are like Mandir of Guru Ji, one of Khalsa Panth of Guru Gobind Singh Ji.
I came back home at Moscow. And one day I was on the way to Uni. I thought: 'Man, everything is so bad: this bloody Russian winter, all the people here knows anything bout Sikhi, where are beards & Dastaars of beloved Khalsa… I can't stay here, wanna back to Punjab, mera Punjab piara…" I was well sad and vexed of all this thoughts. And something happened. I felt that even in the place where are no Gurdwaras, no Sangat, no Sikhi one should be even stronger. You alone are as 1 Lakh Mighty Singhs. And in the twinkling of an eye cheerless Moscow winter blazed with colors of orange and blue, and I REALLY felt myself at the head of the whole army of Singhs. All the wicked Sarbloh Warriors: gorgeous Dastaars, perfect outlook - full beards, Shastr all over them, spears, shields, all in Bana. They all were going with me. They are always with you - prepared for you to call. And you are a Lion, you are a Princess, you are beloved by Guru Ji. And all His invaluable treasures are there for you - His Fauja, His Sangat, His House & Temple, His Presence and HIS LOVE.
Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo Vaheguroo
Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh!
Sukhmani Kaur
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